This kid should be in the NHL

30 Rock

Great clip

iPhone commercials

Better than the originals

Cool juggling video

Never thought I'd say that

News video remix

Always funny when things go wrong on live TV

One reason I don't rollerblade...

I'm posting a video of people rollerblading and biking... Hmmm, I wonder what might happen in the video...

Furries unite!

Keep an eye out for:
1) hilarious quote at 0:40
2) man dressed as Furry wearing a "Gay" jersey (Rudy Gay, i know. but very ironic)
3) man who thinks its appropriate to bring a child to this thing

You got served

Ignore the announcer's moronic commentary and enjoy this girl getting blasted...

Teaching Kids the Important Stuff

My Super Sweet Criminal Father

I won't even attempt to do this story justice - just check out the original post from Jezebel and enjoy.

Sexual Harrassment in the Worklplace

This instructional video should serve as a good guideline on what to do, and what not to do.

Into older women?

So is this guy.

An 82-year-old Argentine woman who attracted media attention last month when she married a 24-year-old man has died as a result of heart problems.

This would've made so much more sense if the chick was rich - scoring points for male gold diggers everywhere - but I think he's just a regular dude with an old chick fetish.



Weird stuff.

[note: picture is for reference only. that's not the actual old lady from the article]

I work for GOLD

Techno Viking

Someone should tell this eurofreak that the rave has ended.

Why are they all following him like sheep?

Return, Guidos

I haven't posted anything on here in months. I have no excuse. Wait, yes I do, I'm lazy. Internet apologies are always awkward, so I'm done here.

Hopefully this funny video that mocks those that infest the tri-state region will get me back in good graces. I don't even know what to say about this other then it is dead-on.

Fuckin' skanks.

Tiger Woods is amazing

I'm impressed

Long but worth it

Bill Murray not only makes us laugh in big motion pictures and by driving drunk through foreign cities in a golf cart, he also lends himself to small budget internet shorts.

Seth Green is Funny

Seth just went up in my book which I am sure will make him happy to hear.

Famguy at The Emmy's

Funniest thing they've done since (insert video of season 2 flashback thus making fun of family guy's weak excuse for funny)

Crazy Bat

What are the chances of this?

Mascot beatdown

Do we still run a blog over here? Not really sure. But I know this video is pretty funny.

South Carolina

From Friday's Miss Teen USA Pageant:



I couldn't have said it better myself...

UPDATE: YouTube seems to be loading slowly. Try this link if the embedded video won't work.

Amazing shot

This sniper manages to shoot a gun directly out of the suspect's hands, so they can arrest him without injuring anyone else. Wow.

Hilarious

I love when a picture speaks for itself - it doesn't need an introduction or explanation. It can just stand on its own and be really funny. This is one of those times:




Also, sorry about the lack of posts. More (hopefully) to come today and the rest of this week.

Shamings

Some good ones:










And finally:

Lurk and Lurker

Just goes to show you how different editing has a huge effect on how a trailer comes out

Free samples

This has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but I came across it yesterday, and it's pretty funny (a reminder of how Family Guy used to be).

Ouch?

I've never seen a hit so hard before that a guy lost both shoes. I guess there's a first for everything.



Somehow, this guy is still alive and also uninjured.

Best 12-year old ever

Some of these moves are just ridiculous

P-A-R-T-Y

An old clip, but a funny one, from Da Ali G Show.

Coach, wrong ball

Best play ever



[via Deadspin]

Barry Bonds continues his scumbaggish ways

As if the whole "using steroids to break a hallowed baseball record" thing wasn't enough, the guy has the nerve to lash out at Bob Costas, for his "Costas Now" show, which aired on HBO on Tuesday. Costas interviewed a guy that was involved in creating THG (who said he thinks Bonds knew what he was juicing, despite his claimed ignorance) and also Curt Schilling, who spoke out against Bonds.

Bonds called Costas, "a little, midget man who absolutely knows jack [bleep] about baseball. Never played the game before. You can tell Bob Costas what I called him.

"I can't wait to see him face to face someday."

Costas deserves a journalistic award for his report; he doesn't deserve to be called "midget man" by a cheating piece of shit. Just in case you needed more proof that Bonds is a scumbag.

Great Sports Guy article

Love him or hate him (I feel both ways, at times) the guy is a really good writer. And he knows and loves the NBA as much as probably anyone else out there. Check out his latest - probably his best article in a while.

Our video is gone... Fuck Paramount

What bullshit. I got this from YouTube just now in my email. Can someone explain to me how a 13-second clip from Anchorman posted on YouTube hurts Paramount??

Hey Paramount: Showing a sub-one minute clip on YouTube doesn't hurt DVD sales. In fact, it has no negative effect whatsoever. It might even remind people how much they liked Anchorman, so they will buy the movie. You stupid fuckers.

I can't believe this is real

Thanks to Padden for this IM:

This is in no way funny but i was amused by the acronym for the Islamic militant group:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/07/10/phillippines.marines.ap/index.html

Stupid criminal?

Or stupid bank teller?

Police rake in leafy robbery suspect

Avril = huge ripoff artist?

She pretty much copied some 70s "boy-band" with her new song "Girlfriend." You be the judge:



She's getting sued, too, so we will all eagerly away that outcome.

This guy gets up

Ok so its not a true 70-inch vertical but but jumping over a 70-inch tall bar to dunk it is pretty impressive:

Damn Alligator bit my hand off

Alligator apparently survived the beat down given by Happy and almost claims another hand.

iPhone madess begins... 4 days ahead of time

This successful-looking guy, Greg Packer, is already waiting in line in NYC for the iPhone, which goes on sale at 6pm on FRIDAY. So, seeing as how he's been there since early Monday, at 5am, which means he'll be waiting for 4 1/2 days to get the thing, I'd have to seriously question his sanity (and also whether or not he is employed).

Still, you have to respect his dedication. Check out Packer's blog. From there, you can link to his MySpace page, which is sort of weird to say the least. Or you can even call him on his cell phone number (which he lists on the blog), where you can speak with him as he waits in line, and encourage him and/or make fun of him. Well, I guess mostly you should make fun of him. But that's really up to you.

Bringing "spoiled" to new levels

This girl is only 15, but I'm confident that she's one of the most awful people in the world. Watch this little bitch's reaction after her parents buy her a new Lexus:



It's scenes like this that make me keep watching My Super Sweet 16.

[via Yougottaseethisvideo.com]

Pun Intended

This Blog is Rated "R"

I am tempted to make a Pirates of the Carribean joke but I won't. I did, however, check this blog on the blog rater from mingle2.com and here's the result:



This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
* rape (7x)
* shit (3x)
* ass (2x)
* sex (1x)


So I guess that mean we're doing a good job?

Who thought this was a good idea?

God only knows what goes in inside those doors.

What's the deal with Oversensitivity?

Jerry Seinfeld, promoting his new Bee movie, said this:

"Bees have the only perfect society on earth ... They have no crime, they have no drugs, they have no rape. A little rape, but it's not that bad."

And naturally he now has anti-rape groups up his ass for being pro-rape and insensitive, according to Radar Magazine. From Karen Baker, who is head of the National Sexual Violence Resource Center:

"It surprised me, frankly, because I've always been a Jerry Seinfeld fan," she says. "With what I hear about every single day, I don't find anything at all funny about rape, and I don't like it being made light of. I understand he's a comedian and he's inclined to find humor in everything, but it was offensive."

Someone get the stick out of her ass. First of all, how on earth was the remark offensive? Just because you mention something doesnt mean you are promoting it - it's not like rapists got together and paid Seinfeld to be their spokesman. (which actually sounds like it would be a funny SNL skit).

Second of all, is there a less polarizing issue than rape? Is anyone pro-rape? It's not like the nation was split 50/50 in favor of rape vs. against rape, and now that Seinfeld mentioned it, the scales will tip towards the pro-rape side.

Get a life people. I'm looking forward to when Evan starts his anti-protest protest group.



Does this man look like a rape advocate??

Trump's latest on TV

Just read that Trump is developing a beauty pageant reality show for MTV. I'm sure it will be awful.

Try and spin it however you want Trump, but going from NBC to MTV isn't exactly a step-up in the TV world.

Music Video or just 2 friends hanging out?

They're not really singing but they kind of are. This is what every one of R.'s (can I call him R?) songs sounds like now since the Hip Hopera.

Humor

I haven't posted anything in a long time.

Humorous picture of the day:


Is this an advertisement for a cult or for plastic surgery?

I wonder if Danger is his middle name...

I can't believe this is true. Some morons named their baby... wait for it... "Georgebush."

I'm almost too dumbfounded to type. First of all, the guy isn't exactly the role model president. And, even if he was far and away the best president to ever live, "Georgebush" STILL ISN'T A NAME.

This reminds of me the time on Seinfeld when Costanza wants to name his baby "Seven" as a tribute to Mickey Mantle, and Jerry asks him "why not just name him Mickey?" Costanza laughs and dismisses it, which is funny, because that is a TV show - not REAL LIFE. You've gotta think the kid would be better off named "George" - isn't that a decent tribute?

I guess at least one bright spot in this whole ordeal is when little Georgebush turns 16, becomes a hardcore liberal, turns against his moron parents who named him, and becomes an emo and/or goth kid.

And maybe some funny things could happen even sooner when he's still a baby: "Georgebush, don't put that in your mouth." or "Honey come quick, Georgebush shit himself again."

Still, it bothers me how dumb people are.

Athletes + Motorcycles = Not a great idea

We can now add Lavar Arrington to the list of athletes who have crashed their motorcycles. This is probably cold of me but I would've cared a lot more if the Giants hadn't already cut him after he basically missed all season. I mean, don't get me wrong, I hope the guy is OK and can play again but it's his own damn fault. Drive around in a nice Bentley or something.

The worst accident is Jay Williams who suffered career ending injuries when he crashed his bike. He was also violating his contract which stated he was not allowed to own or ride a motorcycle. He is lucky the Bulls were nice enough to buy out his contract for a few million. He attempted a comeback last season which fell short so he might have to put that Duke education to use and get a real job.

Ben Roethlisberger (I spelled that without looking it up and I want credit for it) crashed his motorcycle last off season. The moron doesn't have a motorcycle license and decided not to wear a helmet, which is a great combo.

There's more but you get the point.

Odds & Ends

Today was a big news day for creeps:

Cop has sex with 15-year-old hooker

Guy breaks into house then surfs for porn

Also, this isn't new or creepy, but it makes for a good case in favor of becoming a druglord.



Everyone's favorite creep

Pop-a-shot legend

If Guinness tracked these things, I'm pretty sure this kid would be the record-holder.

Etch a sketch mastry

Probably the best effort I've ever seen on an Etch a Sketch. I have a tough enough time drawing straight lines on these things.

Bobby V. & Friends

In honor of all the recent baseball manager ejections, some of the best manager and coaching ejection moments of all-time:

Roy Pearson is a scumbag*

These articles are kind of long (suitable for killing time at work maybe?) so let me summarize. A man brought five suits to the drycleaners and they lost one of them. So, he sued them for $65 million dollars because the "satisfaction guaranteed" sign on the wall was fraudulent, and a bunch of other bullshit reasons. Making this even better is the fact that this man, Roy Pearson, is an administrative law judge himself. He is also one of the worst people on earth.

Read about the initial case here.

And a column about the trial, which is expected to conclude today. (Highlights: when Pearson breaks down and cries, and when he compares the dry-cleaners to Nazis).

The second article is more entertaining, but they are both completely ridiculous.



*This is my opinion only and not based on fact. I don't want to get sued by him myself

Ferrell strikes again

One of the best acceptance speeches of all-time.

In the news...

Some stuff I came across:

Wrong place, wrong time

Eight-year-old gets some

UPDATE: Man gets his nuts ripped off, literally

Holy shit

This is completely insane. A guy in a wheelchair got hit while crossing the street, his wheelchair got lodged in the truck's grill, and he got pushed for a few miles at 50 MPH. You've got to read this story - luckily the dude wasn't even hurt.



Even Knoxville would say that was insane.

Pie in the face

Did I say pie? I meant remote controlled car.



Maybe one of these days I'll stop being lazy and post something other than a YouTube clip.

My baby

Thoughts:
1) Is there any way possible this girl is legit & not acting?
2) How many times is she gonna say "my baby"?
3) How fucked up of a parent do you need to be to let something like this happen? It seems like you'd need lessons in BAD parenting to let shit get this far out of control.
4) Any show (in this case, Maury) that would put this crap on the air has less than zero credibility.
5) (via IM from James) "what a little slut"

Big snub

I hate The View, I hate Rosie, and I hate Elizabeth Hasselbeck. But I like funny things, which is why I am posting the below clip, which is the best snub I've seen in a while.



So why did Silverstone snub Elizabeth? Maybe she is frustrated from having not acted in anything in the past 12 years. I really have have no idea, and to be honest, I think I'm a better person because of that.

Best manager ever

This guy is completely nuts. I can't believe managers are pre-meditating getting booted out of games these days...

Paris almost cries

From last night's MTV Movie Awards, see Paris get pretty abused:

Star Magazine = Joke

Just ask Jennifer Aniston.

Douche, part 2

No, I didn't do a google search for "douchebags." But yes, I did find this commercial:

Douchebaggery at its finest

I didn't add the text - this is how I found the image. But I must say, there are a few pretty accurate observations.

Click the picture because I think the text is too small to read on the pic below.

The Future of Tramp Stamps

Tattoo Remover - Funny video clips are a click away

This is probably an exaggeration, no one will regret those or anything.

That's a LOT of bacon

I'm not a huge fan of guns in general, and I'm also not a huge fan of 9 foot animals. So you can imagine why I stay away from hunting.

The same cannot be said for this 11-year-old boy, who blasted the biggest pig I've ever seen in my life on Saturday. I'm not exactly sure why, but that picture really creeps me out.

And we're back

Sorry, took a few days off for Memorial Day.

From last night's Miss USA pageant:

Kobe throws elbows

but so does LeBron...

Ever wonder what's inside of punching bags?

First sentence of the article:

A Cincinnati-area family got a smelly surprise when they opened a punching bag they purchased earlier this year.

Click here to find out what was inside.

He goes both ways

Never really thought this would exist, but I guess I was wrong:

The Roof is on Fire

Best fire this guy ever put out.

100 Numbers in 100 Movies

Pretty Long but equally cool. Must've taken a long time to make.

Another child mauled

The second video in our series. Enjoy!



Does the fact that I think stuff like this is funny mean I'm going to hell?

Creepy, creepy fish

Next time you open yourself a can of tuna, make sure it's not biting back - like this canned catfish from Russia appears to be doing.



So that's why I don't eat food from Russia. I guess that's also why I don't eat canned catfish.

Check out more (nauseating) pictures here.

Extra-happy meal

Apparently there is a new Happy Meal toy option.

My new favorite cop

Cop + confiscated weed + brownies = hilarious 911 call + great shame

Carrot Top & Kathy Griffin: secretly the same person?

This picture poses quite a few transgender questions. Is Carrot Top a really ugly woman, or is Kathy Griffin a (sort of) feminine man?

Thankfully I can't answer either question for sure. But thinking about them made me want to vomit.

[via TMZ.com]

It has been a month since my last post which is way too long so to make up for it I will drunkenly ramble. Is ramble a word? Doesnt sound right... oh well. You are welcome for this post

Not much margin for error

I know its an old video, and you've probably seen it before. But I ask: how is this possible?

Proof that Red Sox prefer alternate lifestyles?

(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Is it real?

I have no idea if stuff like this is real or not. (Same for this old post.) But you be the judge. Either way it's pretty impressive.

Untitled

Yea, so I haven't posted anything in quite a while. This is due to a combination of not having a computer at my new office and going away for the weekend.

Still can't watch videos at work, or anything else that is funny really. However, I do love a good article that mocks the hypocrisy of the laws we live by in this great country. So read on.

Prostitution, a victimless crime.

NBA refs might not be racists

I'm sure most sports fans have at heard of the study that concluded that NBA refs call more fouls on black players than white players that appeared in the NY Times the other day. (You can see the AP story from ESPN if the Times link requires a login password.)

I think most people's first reaction to this was "that's bullshit" because, on the surface, it doesn't look like white or black players get different treatment in the NBA. But, what no one really discussed, is that my last sentence can be true, even if the study is right also.

TrueHoop does a better job explaining, in a really well written blog post on the topic.


Can't we all just get along?

Another reason our country is a joke

I despise the RIAA. I have ever since they began suing grandparents and six-year olds for "illegal file sharing" and trying to bully anyone they can.

Now, the RIAA has several members of Congress defending their attack on file sharing at different colleges by sending letters to those institutions. One problem: the RIAA has been contributing to these guys' campaign funds.

Read the article from The Consumerist here.

If this doesn't make you at least a little bit mad, then you're an idiot. This is probably the most glaring of conflict of interest that I've ever seen - worse then Kirk Herbstreit doing the commentary on an Ohio State football game. Can someone explain how these Congressmen have any credibility here? And why they shouldn't be removed from office after such a glaring abuse of power?

Happy graduation

Hey Kean, you can spin it however you want with a lengthy writeup, but when you get to the bottom of it, you are having a Deal Or No Deal girl as your commencement speaker.


Hey, there she is!

At least he deserved it

Watch this bully get what was coming to him...



[For disclosure, I found this video (plus some others from the past few days) on Deadspin.]

Having a great time

Apparently Under Armour took like 900 employees to Camden Yards - no word on whether or not the company paid for all the beer.

Multiple choice

Bruce Willis is:

a) drunk
b) a HUGE nets fan
c) completely brainless
d) lucky that Canadian TV isn't governed by the FCC
e) some combination of the above four

More Ferrell

Apparently he is going to make a bunch of internet shorts instead of crappy full-features. That makes me smile, and hopefully laugh.

Draft Workout

I wonder how this workout effected Mel Kiper's rankings?

Goooooo

Uhhmmmmmm??!?!



[via Collegehumor]

Something is wrong here

If you haven't seen the 60 minutes piece on inner city culture and the opinion on "snitching," you should watch a highlight from YouTube here (CBS won't let the file be embedded).

Also, check out the full segment, part 1 and part 2, hosted elsewhere.

I don't even know what to say...

UPDATE: Cam'Ron has since apologized (and you can tell its both sincere and meaningful). And one writer compared this incident to the Imus one. Maybe a bit of a stretch, but probably true that if a white dude said these things they'd get hung out to dry.

Why do these shows get made in the first place?

Fox canceled Drive after airing only 4 episodes (and that's generously counting its two-hour premier as two separate episodes), according to TV Guide.

I understand why a show like Black Donnelly's gets made, because it seemed interesting despite its quick cancellation. But why do shows like Drive - where the premise is completely unappealing - make it to the air? Isn't there a better way for the networks to figure out "Hey, no one will like this, and we will only be able to air 3 episodes because the ratings are going to be so bad."?

Then again I guess House and Bones are both hits for Fox so I guess you can never tell what crap will become a hit.

Here's a couple more quickly canceled shows with pretty bad concepts.

Keep the kids off the field

And if you DO decide to let them on the field, put them on the sideline far away from the action, not two feet from the back of the endzone:

Larry David tells it like it is

Not sure why I thought about this - maybe it's because Seinfeld is on now. But I just thought about this clip, which pretty much sums up the operation they have going over at Starbucks:

Leader of the Free World

We all know our President is fucking retarded but it's nice to have the proof all thrown into a little video. To add to it... this was shown at the Correspondence Dinner where Dubbya was.

Shouldn't it at least resemble the picture?

I know that you can't expect the food to look exactly like the picture, but this is ridiculous:



Other (but not quite as good) comparisons between food ads and reality can be found here.

The evolution of NBA baskets

I'm not expert on the subject (in fact I have no knowledge whatsoever). But I'm pretty impressed that they figured out a way to Shaq-proof the baskets in the NBA. There's no way that this dunk:



wouldn't have brought down a basket like this one from back in the day.

Weird news...

If this isn't the weirdest opening paragraph of a news story, I don't know what is:

A St. Charles teen who was living with her 60-year-old boyfriend has confessed to feeding antifreeze to the pets of the boyfriend's daughter after his family expressed disapproval of the May-December relationship, police statements indicate.

Read the rest, if you're not freaked out already.

The Worst People Ever

The incident at Virginia Tech this week was one of the worst things to happen in recent memory. It was a terrible tragedy that, though it sucks to say it, really couldn't have been prevented. If someone is that messed up in the head, and that hell-bent on making others feel his perceived pain, there isn't much that can be done.

There are numerous societal errors we can reflect on now, like the fact that he was able to so easily purchase guns or his obvious mental instability that while diagnosed, was overlooked for the most part. To a lesser degree, the fact that they didn't close the campus after the first round of shootings. In retrospect, it would have been a good idea, but I can't really fault the university for that. Hindsight is 20/20.

Out of all of this comes a sickening story. Surprisingly, religious fanatics are behind it. These people might even be worse then the gunman himself. Despicable. Is it wrong that I want these people gunned-down in cold blood?

Somewhat disturbing footage

I can't decide whether this falls more under "weird" or "funny." It's everyone's favorite action star Jean Claude Van Damme doing a little bump n grind, and you can see for your self what happens at the end.

Beer pong mastry

Impressive:

Back to business as usual...

I hate to take away from our race relations coverage here at imusscandal.blogspot.com milkwasabadchoice, but we still do enjoy things like sarcasm, sports, humor, or anything that is a combination of those three.

So, nothing better than a funny sports video to lighten things up:

Evan Weighs In

This story has gotten completely out of control. When I first heard about my thoughts were something like, "wow, the media is going to make a huge deal out of this." Shockingly, I was right.

But I'm not here to write about the media. I don't have the time to point out everything wrong there. Instead, I'm writing about the people who won't let this story die, Al Sharpton and, to a lesser degree, Jesse Jackson.

The "reverend," who may or may not have ever conducted a religious ceremony, represents everything that is wrong with race relations in our country. Is there a better example of a hypocrite who preaches tolerance but practices discrimination on a daily basis? As soon as he heard that a white radio host made a stupid, insensitive remark about a group of black women he no doubt was sexually arroused.

Al Sharpton hates white people, but for some reason that is acceptable and he is portrayed as a hero. Don Imus does not hate black people, but he is now an unemployed villian. Seems fair.

For a better take on this, check out Jason Whitlock's outstanding article. He does a great job summarizing the hypocrisy and skewed priorities that exist among our country's African-American "leaders."

Venting and Ranting

This is going to go along with Danny's 2 posts below this one... it got me going.

Does the entire African American community agree that "nappy" is the other "n-word"? This whole thing was completely blown out of control. Don Imus is an asshole and shouldn't have said it. There's no question about it and it was compounded by the fact that he said it about 18-22 year old girls in college who are working hard and not doing anything wrong but he should not have lost his job. And can someone please send Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton away someplace? Do they have any credibility left? They are bigger attention whores than Paris and Lohan but instead of flashing their Snooters to the cameras they shove their faces on TV. I am going to stick with the attention whore analogy. I want Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan to fly down to North Carolina and speak on behalf of the Duke Lacrosse players who were falsely accused of raping a stripper. Their lives will forever be changed and names will always be synonymous with RAPE. Again I would just like to say that Don Imus is a fucking asshole but the penalty does not match the crime.

How did rap music get its exemption?

"We cannot afford a precedent established that the airwaves can be used to commercialize and mainstream sexism and racism. But there will be no champagne bottle popping by those of us involved in this. This is not about gloating," Sharpton said. (Editor's note: from CNN.com's Imus coverage)

Has Mr. Sharpton ever seen a rap video or heard a rap album? Seems like record labels, radio industry, and television stations have "commercialized" the sexism and racism just fine. I don't understand why airing a 50 Cent video is still ok, but airing Imus's show is not.

Why does no one in the media discuss this?

Imus is the new Janet Jackson

There was an article on cnn.com tonight explaining why "nappy" is a racsist term and is so bad. It goes so far as to call it "the other n-word."

I'm no racial expert, so there's probably a 90% chance that what I'm about to say is either racist or just plain wrong. So I'll appologize in advance, but I'll also preface it by saying that my view here would be the same if we were talking about any race, color, religion, or other collective group:

If the term "nappy" was really as bad as it's supposed to be, would we really need an article on cnn.com to explain to us why it's so bad?

I'm not arguing that "nappy" is an acceptable word to use (especially not after reading the article), and I'm not saying Imus should have said it. But I think everyone needs to take a step back and look at the magnitude of the offense and the magnitude of the corresponding reaction and public outcry. Did Imus really commit an inherently heinous crime? Or did he commit a standard crime which the media has made really heinous?

Katie on the Prowl

I really have no feelings on Katie Couric either way. I don't care about her ratings or lack there of. I mean, who watches the news anyway? But I had to share this photo, which ran on the 3rd page of today's New York Post.Apparently, Katie is now dating a man 17 years her junior. The term "cougar" is becoming overused these days, but with a picture as funny as this attached, I'll go there.

Also, good to see the Post keeping up with it's reputation as a reputable news organization. This story is much closer to The National Enquirer then The New York times.

Joey Gathright jumps over cars

After the Galant jump, I was mildly impressed. It looked like he put his one hand on the roof of the car. The BMW jump is a better angle and you can see he clears it cleanly. I wonder if theres a clause in his contract that voids his contract if he gets hurt jumping over things.

Bonus Info

Galant - Height - 58 in Width -72

BMW - Height - 56 in Width - 79 in

Do the right thing tonight...

Everyone knows about Sanjaya by now. According to the NY Post (via Yahoo) Sanjaya is currently a more popular search term than Justin Timberlake or Harry Potter.

So, if you hate American Idol like we do, visit our friends at votefortheworst.com tonight while Idol airs (or you can even to go howardstern.com, as he's helping lead the campaign) and you can get the phone number to call in and vote for Sanjaya. This way you can vote without even watching the crappy show.

Do us a favor and vote, over and over again. Let's be honest, how funny would it be if this guy win's American Idol:

Censoring things unnecessarily to make them funnier?

Weird concept, I know, but it works:

Malibu

I don't really have to add any commentary here...

Happy Easter

Big brother watching you at work?

You're bored at work. YouTube is blocked. So is Facebook, Myspace, ESPN, and pretty much the entire internet.

Luckily, this site has games that are all made in Excel. They're simple, and the graphics aren't great, but this has gotta be better than nothing at all.

Best of all, there's no chance that work decides to block you from using Excel. So enjoy.

We're still alive, I promise

Sorry its taken so long between posts. We've been lazy on vacation watching basketball lazy really busy lately. Here's a picture to keep you warm and fuzzy until we get back on a regular posting schedule.

Which is funniest?

Seriously...I can't decide.

Olsen twins: cute at 2, worthless at 20

It's a good thing for the Olsen Twins that there is no statute of limitations on Fame, because I can't remember one thing they've done in the past 8 to 10 years. Yet, somehow, they continue to make news. Today, I read that Mary-Kate and Ashley plan to get matching nose-jobs.

As if being a twin wasn't weird enough (think about it - two of the exact same person), the plan now is to undergo equal plastic surgery so as to not differ in the slightest bit - thus giving up any hope of taking steps back towards non-twin normalcy.

Interestingly, the article fails to mention whether or not their future plans include sticking matching fingers down their throats (maybe they've tried that already?) or smoking matching meth pipes with Stephanie Tanner.


Are they even good looking anymore??

Game Show Oops

As you can probably tell by the length of the clip, things don't go well for poor Chase...

In case you missed it...(you probably did)

The Division II Men's National Championship game. If this ever happened in Division I it would be talked about as the greatest comeback in history. They would over hype it and play it over and over every year. It would be Christian Laettner for 2007.

Instead it has been relegated to an internet clip that appears on shitty blogs. Congratulations Barton. A well-earned National Championship is yours.

Super Bowl MVP Gives Back

One of us was bound to put this up here. Peyton scores some major comedy points here.

"The current drug system is ill thought-out and arbitrary"

According to Time.com, a study concludes that alcohol and tobacco are more harmful to society then marijuana and ecstasy and suggests laws should reflect this. I'm not saying throw people in jail for smoking cigarettes, but give me a break if i want to roll every now and then.

(Click the image to read the full article)

Kill some time here....

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Let's all go to rehab

I drink a lot. I do a lot of stupid stuff, especially when drunk. I like some nose candy every now and then and I'll roll a little bit if we're in the club. I've got millions from my last record deal / tv show / movie / inheritance so I'm basically untouchable in this world.

I could probably kick these bad habits at any time, but the truth is that I don't want to. My publicist says that's a problem, because I keep doing all this stupid shit when I get fucked up, and websites like TMZ.com keep blowing up my spot. She tells me the best way to be popular again is to convince the public that its the substances, not me, causing these meltdowns. But how can I win them over?

Hey, wait a minute. Maybe I'll check into rehab. Isn't that the new "thing" to do? Seems like everyone's doing it now... Britney, Lindsay Lohan, that dude from Desperate Housewives... and that's just in the past few weeks. Who needs a vacation? I can just spend a week in some cushy "rehab" spa instead.

(Do you think it would help if I shaved my head first? Nah, that would just make me look completely insane.)

Better yet, I'll stay in rehab for a few days, check out, pretend that it cured me, and continue to go out and get fucked up 4 nights a week. Four nights per week is so much healthier for me than six!! And the public will love me again. It's a true win-win situation!

And if that doesn't work I'll just adopt an African baby - that should buy me a few minutes in the spotlight! I wonder if I still have Angelina's phone number...

Heroes in a Half Shell

Let me preface this by saying that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was a staple of my childhood. I watched the cartoon religiously and even enjoyed the movies. But I always questioned why they named them after famous Renaissance artists.

Florence, Italy, Early 16th Century. An up and coming artist named Michaelangelo encounters one of the great men of the time, Leonardo DaVinci. The following conversation ensues:

L - What's up Mike? Haven't seen you around for a while. What have you been up to?
M - Hey Leo, yea man, I've been real busy painting this fucking ceiling for the Pope in Rome.
L - Yea I heard about that, how did it turn out?
M - Pretty good I think, took fucking forever though.
L - That's good to hear. I hear good things about your work Mike. I look forward to seeing it.
M - Wow, thank you, that means a lot coming from an artist as great as yourself.
L - You have earned it.
M - Do you think one day I will be as famous an artist as you are Leo?
L - Only time will tell my friend, but anything is possible.
M - Wow, what an honor it would be to be mentioned in the same breath as you.
L - The honor would be shared. Perhaps they will dedicate a museum full of beautiful art from master craftsmen of all generations to you.
M - Perhaps, maybe even a city, or a whole country.
L - Let us not get ahead of ourselves. Asking for a city or a country seems like a bit much, though we are geniuses.
M - You are right. Maybe we will be immortalized in some other way. Something as unique as our collective works.
L - I like the way you are thinking.
M - Something like a cartoon, created by Asians, but for an English-speaking audience. It could feature not only us, but others also. Maybe your boy Donatello could join us, and that new kid Raphael, I hear good things about him, lots of potential there. We would be drawn as over-sized turtles who walk upright and talk as humans do. And we would be specially trained as ninjas by a giant rat in order to fight crime, mostly against an organization headed by a giant brain in a robot body who lives in an underground lair that can travel anywhere. And naturally, we would all fight over a girl named after the 4th month of the year and who only wears a yellow jump suit. We would probably be obsessed with pizza to.
L - Pizza?
M - Yea, it's like tomato and cheese on bread. It's going to be big, trust me. But anyway, if we can't have a city in Italy, how does that sound? It would be quite the way for us to be remembered for generations to come, no?
L - That has got to be the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. I would be insulted if someone even thought of doing that.
M - True.

Pickle-ade

Jason Witten + pickles = weird sports drink?