Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Heroes in a Half Shell


Let me preface this by saying that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was a staple of my childhood. I watched the cartoon religiously and even enjoyed the movies. But I always questioned why they named them after famous Renaissance artists.

Florence, Italy, Early 16th Century. An up and coming artist named Michaelangelo encounters one of the great men of the time, Leonardo DaVinci. The following conversation ensues:

L - What's up Mike? Haven't seen you around for a while. What have you been up to?
M - Hey Leo, yea man, I've been real busy painting this fucking ceiling for the Pope in Rome.
L - Yea I heard about that, how did it turn out?
M - Pretty good I think, took fucking forever though.
L - That's good to hear. I hear good things about your work Mike. I look forward to seeing it.
M - Wow, thank you, that means a lot coming from an artist as great as yourself.
L - You have earned it.
M - Do you think one day I will be as famous an artist as you are Leo?
L - Only time will tell my friend, but anything is possible.
M - Wow, what an honor it would be to be mentioned in the same breath as you.
L - The honor would be shared. Perhaps they will dedicate a museum full of beautiful art from master craftsmen of all generations to you.
M - Perhaps, maybe even a city, or a whole country.
L - Let us not get ahead of ourselves. Asking for a city or a country seems like a bit much, though we are geniuses.
M - You are right. Maybe we will be immortalized in some other way. Something as unique as our collective works.
L - I like the way you are thinking.
M - Something like a cartoon, created by Asians, but for an English-speaking audience. It could feature not only us, but others also. Maybe your boy Donatello could join us, and that new kid Raphael, I hear good things about him, lots of potential there. We would be drawn as over-sized turtles who walk upright and talk as humans do. And we would be specially trained as ninjas by a giant rat in order to fight crime, mostly against an organization headed by a giant brain in a robot body who lives in an underground lair that can travel anywhere. And naturally, we would all fight over a girl named after the 4th month of the year and who only wears a yellow jump suit. We would probably be obsessed with pizza to.
L - Pizza?
M - Yea, it's like tomato and cheese on bread. It's going to be big, trust me. But anyway, if we can't have a city in Italy, how does that sound? It would be quite the way for us to be remembered for generations to come, no?
L - That has got to be the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. I would be insulted if someone even thought of doing that.
M - True.

1 comment:

Me said...

turtle power!!!!