Clothes Make the Man

Today is my birthday. It is also cold and snowing outside. Because of these external factors, I decided to wear jeans to the office today. I'm pretty sure no one noticed. I'm also pretty sure no one would care if they did notice, and not because it's my birthday, because it doesn't fucking matter.

There are some instances where looking nice is a must. Weddings, funerals, important face-to-face business meetings come to mind. These are facts of life and I begrudgingly throw on my suit and smile during them. But these occurrences are few and far between. If I wore a suit and tie everyday, then what would I wear to "dress up" for these? A tuxedo? I realize that this will come off as bitching about nothing and that wearing khakis and tucking in my shirt is not the end of the world. But it pisses me off that I'm forced to.

The clothing I wear has absolutely no bearing on my ability to do my job, yet there is a dress code in my office. "Business Casual," Mondays-Thursdays. You may wear jeans on Friday, provided they are not ripped in an unsightly manner, because as we all know, a rip in one's jeans leads to lowered productivity.

If you haven't guessed yet, I have a huge fucking problem with this. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that a majority of people, while not despising "dressing up" as much as I do, would prefer to wear whatever they want, whenever they want. Some, like George Costanza, would choose to "drape themselves in velvet if it was socially acceptable." Others who have the need to feel important chose to wear suits, ties, high heels, etc. If comfort is not an issue for them, or if they actually are comfortable in these clothes, so be it. It's a decision that varies from person to person, and I'm not one to judge. Or am I?

The important part of my argument is choice. I firmly believe that I should be able to wear my comfortable sweatpants and hoodies to work whenever I want, and not be looked down on because of it. It is my hope that one day I will be judged not by the clothes I wear, but by the content of my character.

Sadly, this will never happen. Dress codes are so ingrained in our societal norms that no matter how hard I try, I will be judged by what I wear. Like the goth-freak wearing all black or the hooker wearing not much at all, we are what we wear. If I ever want to advance in the corporate world (huge "if" right there), I'm going to have to shape up and start dressing the part. A wise business executive named Jan Levinson-Gould once said, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." By that definition, and my preference of sweats and hoodies, I am destined to be a gym teacher. But at least I'll be comfortable.

Check out what Billionaire Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has to say about this. Who wouldn't want to work for this guy?


Cuban, take my resume. Seriously. There's pretty much no job you could offer me that I wouldn't take. Notice the lack of a joke following that sentence.