Damn Alligator bit my hand off

Alligator apparently survived the beat down given by Happy and almost claims another hand.

iPhone madess begins... 4 days ahead of time

This successful-looking guy, Greg Packer, is already waiting in line in NYC for the iPhone, which goes on sale at 6pm on FRIDAY. So, seeing as how he's been there since early Monday, at 5am, which means he'll be waiting for 4 1/2 days to get the thing, I'd have to seriously question his sanity (and also whether or not he is employed).

Still, you have to respect his dedication. Check out Packer's blog. From there, you can link to his MySpace page, which is sort of weird to say the least. Or you can even call him on his cell phone number (which he lists on the blog), where you can speak with him as he waits in line, and encourage him and/or make fun of him. Well, I guess mostly you should make fun of him. But that's really up to you.

Bringing "spoiled" to new levels

This girl is only 15, but I'm confident that she's one of the most awful people in the world. Watch this little bitch's reaction after her parents buy her a new Lexus:



It's scenes like this that make me keep watching My Super Sweet 16.

[via Yougottaseethisvideo.com]

Pun Intended

This Blog is Rated "R"

I am tempted to make a Pirates of the Carribean joke but I won't. I did, however, check this blog on the blog rater from mingle2.com and here's the result:



This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
* rape (7x)
* shit (3x)
* ass (2x)
* sex (1x)


So I guess that mean we're doing a good job?

Who thought this was a good idea?

God only knows what goes in inside those doors.

What's the deal with Oversensitivity?

Jerry Seinfeld, promoting his new Bee movie, said this:

"Bees have the only perfect society on earth ... They have no crime, they have no drugs, they have no rape. A little rape, but it's not that bad."

And naturally he now has anti-rape groups up his ass for being pro-rape and insensitive, according to Radar Magazine. From Karen Baker, who is head of the National Sexual Violence Resource Center:

"It surprised me, frankly, because I've always been a Jerry Seinfeld fan," she says. "With what I hear about every single day, I don't find anything at all funny about rape, and I don't like it being made light of. I understand he's a comedian and he's inclined to find humor in everything, but it was offensive."

Someone get the stick out of her ass. First of all, how on earth was the remark offensive? Just because you mention something doesnt mean you are promoting it - it's not like rapists got together and paid Seinfeld to be their spokesman. (which actually sounds like it would be a funny SNL skit).

Second of all, is there a less polarizing issue than rape? Is anyone pro-rape? It's not like the nation was split 50/50 in favor of rape vs. against rape, and now that Seinfeld mentioned it, the scales will tip towards the pro-rape side.

Get a life people. I'm looking forward to when Evan starts his anti-protest protest group.



Does this man look like a rape advocate??

Trump's latest on TV

Just read that Trump is developing a beauty pageant reality show for MTV. I'm sure it will be awful.

Try and spin it however you want Trump, but going from NBC to MTV isn't exactly a step-up in the TV world.

Music Video or just 2 friends hanging out?

They're not really singing but they kind of are. This is what every one of R.'s (can I call him R?) songs sounds like now since the Hip Hopera.

Humor

I haven't posted anything in a long time.

Humorous picture of the day:


Is this an advertisement for a cult or for plastic surgery?

I wonder if Danger is his middle name...

I can't believe this is true. Some morons named their baby... wait for it... "Georgebush."

I'm almost too dumbfounded to type. First of all, the guy isn't exactly the role model president. And, even if he was far and away the best president to ever live, "Georgebush" STILL ISN'T A NAME.

This reminds of me the time on Seinfeld when Costanza wants to name his baby "Seven" as a tribute to Mickey Mantle, and Jerry asks him "why not just name him Mickey?" Costanza laughs and dismisses it, which is funny, because that is a TV show - not REAL LIFE. You've gotta think the kid would be better off named "George" - isn't that a decent tribute?

I guess at least one bright spot in this whole ordeal is when little Georgebush turns 16, becomes a hardcore liberal, turns against his moron parents who named him, and becomes an emo and/or goth kid.

And maybe some funny things could happen even sooner when he's still a baby: "Georgebush, don't put that in your mouth." or "Honey come quick, Georgebush shit himself again."

Still, it bothers me how dumb people are.

Athletes + Motorcycles = Not a great idea

We can now add Lavar Arrington to the list of athletes who have crashed their motorcycles. This is probably cold of me but I would've cared a lot more if the Giants hadn't already cut him after he basically missed all season. I mean, don't get me wrong, I hope the guy is OK and can play again but it's his own damn fault. Drive around in a nice Bentley or something.

The worst accident is Jay Williams who suffered career ending injuries when he crashed his bike. He was also violating his contract which stated he was not allowed to own or ride a motorcycle. He is lucky the Bulls were nice enough to buy out his contract for a few million. He attempted a comeback last season which fell short so he might have to put that Duke education to use and get a real job.

Ben Roethlisberger (I spelled that without looking it up and I want credit for it) crashed his motorcycle last off season. The moron doesn't have a motorcycle license and decided not to wear a helmet, which is a great combo.

There's more but you get the point.

Odds & Ends

Today was a big news day for creeps:

Cop has sex with 15-year-old hooker

Guy breaks into house then surfs for porn

Also, this isn't new or creepy, but it makes for a good case in favor of becoming a druglord.



Everyone's favorite creep

Pop-a-shot legend

If Guinness tracked these things, I'm pretty sure this kid would be the record-holder.

Etch a sketch mastry

Probably the best effort I've ever seen on an Etch a Sketch. I have a tough enough time drawing straight lines on these things.

Bobby V. & Friends

In honor of all the recent baseball manager ejections, some of the best manager and coaching ejection moments of all-time:

Roy Pearson is a scumbag*

These articles are kind of long (suitable for killing time at work maybe?) so let me summarize. A man brought five suits to the drycleaners and they lost one of them. So, he sued them for $65 million dollars because the "satisfaction guaranteed" sign on the wall was fraudulent, and a bunch of other bullshit reasons. Making this even better is the fact that this man, Roy Pearson, is an administrative law judge himself. He is also one of the worst people on earth.

Read about the initial case here.

And a column about the trial, which is expected to conclude today. (Highlights: when Pearson breaks down and cries, and when he compares the dry-cleaners to Nazis).

The second article is more entertaining, but they are both completely ridiculous.



*This is my opinion only and not based on fact. I don't want to get sued by him myself

Ferrell strikes again

One of the best acceptance speeches of all-time.

In the news...

Some stuff I came across:

Wrong place, wrong time

Eight-year-old gets some

UPDATE: Man gets his nuts ripped off, literally

Holy shit

This is completely insane. A guy in a wheelchair got hit while crossing the street, his wheelchair got lodged in the truck's grill, and he got pushed for a few miles at 50 MPH. You've got to read this story - luckily the dude wasn't even hurt.



Even Knoxville would say that was insane.

Pie in the face

Did I say pie? I meant remote controlled car.



Maybe one of these days I'll stop being lazy and post something other than a YouTube clip.

My baby

Thoughts:
1) Is there any way possible this girl is legit & not acting?
2) How many times is she gonna say "my baby"?
3) How fucked up of a parent do you need to be to let something like this happen? It seems like you'd need lessons in BAD parenting to let shit get this far out of control.
4) Any show (in this case, Maury) that would put this crap on the air has less than zero credibility.
5) (via IM from James) "what a little slut"

Big snub

I hate The View, I hate Rosie, and I hate Elizabeth Hasselbeck. But I like funny things, which is why I am posting the below clip, which is the best snub I've seen in a while.



So why did Silverstone snub Elizabeth? Maybe she is frustrated from having not acted in anything in the past 12 years. I really have have no idea, and to be honest, I think I'm a better person because of that.

Best manager ever

This guy is completely nuts. I can't believe managers are pre-meditating getting booted out of games these days...

Paris almost cries

From last night's MTV Movie Awards, see Paris get pretty abused:

Star Magazine = Joke

Just ask Jennifer Aniston.