Which is funniest?

Seriously...I can't decide.

Olsen twins: cute at 2, worthless at 20

It's a good thing for the Olsen Twins that there is no statute of limitations on Fame, because I can't remember one thing they've done in the past 8 to 10 years. Yet, somehow, they continue to make news. Today, I read that Mary-Kate and Ashley plan to get matching nose-jobs.

As if being a twin wasn't weird enough (think about it - two of the exact same person), the plan now is to undergo equal plastic surgery so as to not differ in the slightest bit - thus giving up any hope of taking steps back towards non-twin normalcy.

Interestingly, the article fails to mention whether or not their future plans include sticking matching fingers down their throats (maybe they've tried that already?) or smoking matching meth pipes with Stephanie Tanner.


Are they even good looking anymore??

Game Show Oops

As you can probably tell by the length of the clip, things don't go well for poor Chase...

In case you missed it...(you probably did)

The Division II Men's National Championship game. If this ever happened in Division I it would be talked about as the greatest comeback in history. They would over hype it and play it over and over every year. It would be Christian Laettner for 2007.

Instead it has been relegated to an internet clip that appears on shitty blogs. Congratulations Barton. A well-earned National Championship is yours.

Super Bowl MVP Gives Back

One of us was bound to put this up here. Peyton scores some major comedy points here.

"The current drug system is ill thought-out and arbitrary"

According to Time.com, a study concludes that alcohol and tobacco are more harmful to society then marijuana and ecstasy and suggests laws should reflect this. I'm not saying throw people in jail for smoking cigarettes, but give me a break if i want to roll every now and then.

(Click the image to read the full article)

Kill some time here....

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Let's all go to rehab

I drink a lot. I do a lot of stupid stuff, especially when drunk. I like some nose candy every now and then and I'll roll a little bit if we're in the club. I've got millions from my last record deal / tv show / movie / inheritance so I'm basically untouchable in this world.

I could probably kick these bad habits at any time, but the truth is that I don't want to. My publicist says that's a problem, because I keep doing all this stupid shit when I get fucked up, and websites like TMZ.com keep blowing up my spot. She tells me the best way to be popular again is to convince the public that its the substances, not me, causing these meltdowns. But how can I win them over?

Hey, wait a minute. Maybe I'll check into rehab. Isn't that the new "thing" to do? Seems like everyone's doing it now... Britney, Lindsay Lohan, that dude from Desperate Housewives... and that's just in the past few weeks. Who needs a vacation? I can just spend a week in some cushy "rehab" spa instead.

(Do you think it would help if I shaved my head first? Nah, that would just make me look completely insane.)

Better yet, I'll stay in rehab for a few days, check out, pretend that it cured me, and continue to go out and get fucked up 4 nights a week. Four nights per week is so much healthier for me than six!! And the public will love me again. It's a true win-win situation!

And if that doesn't work I'll just adopt an African baby - that should buy me a few minutes in the spotlight! I wonder if I still have Angelina's phone number...

Heroes in a Half Shell

Let me preface this by saying that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was a staple of my childhood. I watched the cartoon religiously and even enjoyed the movies. But I always questioned why they named them after famous Renaissance artists.

Florence, Italy, Early 16th Century. An up and coming artist named Michaelangelo encounters one of the great men of the time, Leonardo DaVinci. The following conversation ensues:

L - What's up Mike? Haven't seen you around for a while. What have you been up to?
M - Hey Leo, yea man, I've been real busy painting this fucking ceiling for the Pope in Rome.
L - Yea I heard about that, how did it turn out?
M - Pretty good I think, took fucking forever though.
L - That's good to hear. I hear good things about your work Mike. I look forward to seeing it.
M - Wow, thank you, that means a lot coming from an artist as great as yourself.
L - You have earned it.
M - Do you think one day I will be as famous an artist as you are Leo?
L - Only time will tell my friend, but anything is possible.
M - Wow, what an honor it would be to be mentioned in the same breath as you.
L - The honor would be shared. Perhaps they will dedicate a museum full of beautiful art from master craftsmen of all generations to you.
M - Perhaps, maybe even a city, or a whole country.
L - Let us not get ahead of ourselves. Asking for a city or a country seems like a bit much, though we are geniuses.
M - You are right. Maybe we will be immortalized in some other way. Something as unique as our collective works.
L - I like the way you are thinking.
M - Something like a cartoon, created by Asians, but for an English-speaking audience. It could feature not only us, but others also. Maybe your boy Donatello could join us, and that new kid Raphael, I hear good things about him, lots of potential there. We would be drawn as over-sized turtles who walk upright and talk as humans do. And we would be specially trained as ninjas by a giant rat in order to fight crime, mostly against an organization headed by a giant brain in a robot body who lives in an underground lair that can travel anywhere. And naturally, we would all fight over a girl named after the 4th month of the year and who only wears a yellow jump suit. We would probably be obsessed with pizza to.
L - Pizza?
M - Yea, it's like tomato and cheese on bread. It's going to be big, trust me. But anyway, if we can't have a city in Italy, how does that sound? It would be quite the way for us to be remembered for generations to come, no?
L - That has got to be the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. I would be insulted if someone even thought of doing that.
M - True.

Pickle-ade

Jason Witten + pickles = weird sports drink?

Want to know what he's really thinking?

A little vulgar? Maybe, but we're all grown ups here.

By the way, this isn't even close to being safe for work - you've been warned.

Douchebags

Tonight I give you some grade A douchebags that think they are funny. Courtesy of our "friends" over at http://This Site

I hope it's not them I'm about to make fun of. Actually I don't really care.



This has never been done before. Seriously. This guy is the first person who ever pretended he was holding up the Leaning Tower. Unoriginal Douchebag.


Anyone else rooting for an earthquake or strong wind to end this guy? Douche.





Hey look guys, a phallic shaped cactus right out here in the middle of the dessert, who would've thought? It's like I was drawn to it or something. Wouldn't it be funny and a laid down with it in my crotch and pretended I was hung? Small-Dicked Douchebag.


The monkey is cool but this douchebag who either thinks he is funny or has a thing for our primitive relatives has to go.

K-Fed continues to be the laughing stock of America

Kevin Federline has his own search engine. Weird, right?

Check it out if you don't believe me.

If you're lucky enough, every 2 hours you can win a prize. So far, those prizes have included entry into a drawing for tickets to K-Fed's birthday party in L.A. or Vegas (airfare not included), an autographed K-Fed 8x10 photo, and a K-Fed t-shirt. I thought "prizes" were supposed to be something of actual value, but I guess not.

Coach Cal

Did John Calipari get his first coaching job when he was 7? He's in his 18th season as a head coach, yet somehow still looks like he's 25. How is that possible? (He's actually 48 - I guess that makes more sense.)

Anyway, I found this vintage Coach Cal clip - a good one. There aren't enough WWF-style coach fights nowadays...




Remember when Coach Cal was responsible for these guys?

HOORAY

This makes it official.

Nothing against Amaker, but Michigan took a step in the right direction today.

So, who's up next?

Pride

Now I am not a Racist... or I should say... I am not any more racist than the average person is but stereotypes exist for a reason. "Pride"is a movie about a black swim team. I am sorry but Star Wars seems like a more believable movie.

Smile, NBA Players ...

... because there is a Flickr site dedicated to photos of you + random people.

Not sure why, but I thought these were really funny to look at. Also, what on earth is Channing Frye wearing? I'd say maybe it's Halloween but even that wouldn't explain what's going on.

Clemens is a Joke

So THIS is What Clemens in doing instead of pitching.

Clemens Hocks some Crap

Rick Majerus double-shot

#1- Old but funny

#2- Steve Lavin's face is priceless

Wiki-what

I found a list of the top page-views from Wikipedia for March (which is nearly 1/2 over at this point).

What do you think is higher in page views?
a) "American Idol (season 6)"
b) "George W. Bush"
c) "List of sexual positions"

Click the link for the answer (hint: its C). Aparantly a lot of people like to get their "adult" info from wikipedia. Which is a little weird.

Cars & the mall

Me: i found a clip that moses will LOVE
Me: its an SUV actually driving through a mall
Evan: during mall hours?
Me: no looks like it was at night
Evan: its still funny, but it would've been cooler if happened when people were there

Art?

It just amazes me that this guy has more artistic skill with french fries and ketchup than most of us do with actual art utensils...

Sparkling Wiggles

These have got to be the greatest parents in the history of parenting. Well, maybe not , but at least they have sense of humor. How ironic is it going to be in 15 years when she comes home with a sparkling wiggle of her own.

"How dare you bring this sparkling wiggle into my house!"

Clothes Make the Man

Today is my birthday. It is also cold and snowing outside. Because of these external factors, I decided to wear jeans to the office today. I'm pretty sure no one noticed. I'm also pretty sure no one would care if they did notice, and not because it's my birthday, because it doesn't fucking matter.

There are some instances where looking nice is a must. Weddings, funerals, important face-to-face business meetings come to mind. These are facts of life and I begrudgingly throw on my suit and smile during them. But these occurrences are few and far between. If I wore a suit and tie everyday, then what would I wear to "dress up" for these? A tuxedo? I realize that this will come off as bitching about nothing and that wearing khakis and tucking in my shirt is not the end of the world. But it pisses me off that I'm forced to.

The clothing I wear has absolutely no bearing on my ability to do my job, yet there is a dress code in my office. "Business Casual," Mondays-Thursdays. You may wear jeans on Friday, provided they are not ripped in an unsightly manner, because as we all know, a rip in one's jeans leads to lowered productivity.

If you haven't guessed yet, I have a huge fucking problem with this. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that a majority of people, while not despising "dressing up" as much as I do, would prefer to wear whatever they want, whenever they want. Some, like George Costanza, would choose to "drape themselves in velvet if it was socially acceptable." Others who have the need to feel important chose to wear suits, ties, high heels, etc. If comfort is not an issue for them, or if they actually are comfortable in these clothes, so be it. It's a decision that varies from person to person, and I'm not one to judge. Or am I?

The important part of my argument is choice. I firmly believe that I should be able to wear my comfortable sweatpants and hoodies to work whenever I want, and not be looked down on because of it. It is my hope that one day I will be judged not by the clothes I wear, but by the content of my character.

Sadly, this will never happen. Dress codes are so ingrained in our societal norms that no matter how hard I try, I will be judged by what I wear. Like the goth-freak wearing all black or the hooker wearing not much at all, we are what we wear. If I ever want to advance in the corporate world (huge "if" right there), I'm going to have to shape up and start dressing the part. A wise business executive named Jan Levinson-Gould once said, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." By that definition, and my preference of sweats and hoodies, I am destined to be a gym teacher. But at least I'll be comfortable.

Check out what Billionaire Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has to say about this. Who wouldn't want to work for this guy?


Cuban, take my resume. Seriously. There's pretty much no job you could offer me that I wouldn't take. Notice the lack of a joke following that sentence.

007 the wife beater?

Even if you don't agree with him you've gotta respect his honesty:

Welcome, part 2

We have a new (real) blog address, so we're going to use this address - milkwasabadchoice.blogspot.com - going forward.

Check out our original posts at shitthatiscool.blogspot.com to see our archive (all 1 months worth). I think we will (re)post some of our best posts here at some point - but that seems like a lot of work.

So update your bookmarks and visit us here from now on.